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Sitting my own little slice of heaven on board this MD-80, I’m still dwelling on an event that happened earlier today. Maybe this is an indicator of how little I fly (or how I usually fly), but I had to check a bag today (due to the TSA’s fear of syrup in large quantities), and in doing so I had to pay Delta Airlines $15.

Now, I’m not really miffed about having to pay the fee, I’m miffed about why I’m paying the fee in the first place. In forking over 15 bucks I’m supporting Delta’s bad business model.

Yes, I just passed judgement on something I know nothing about, but there is ample evidence all around me. Like I said before, I’m on an MD-88, as in MacDonald Douglass, as in a company that hasn’t existed for years, as in a fuel-guzzling jet that is subject to the binge-and-purge oil market much more so than other, newer jets.

Delta decision-makers, with their vast resources must have had the opportunity to phase in a newer jet fleet at somepoint. Of course, the economics of jet-buying may make it much cheaper to service old planes than buy newer, more efficient ones, so the blame may reach past Delta, but in the long run, it is never smart to allow a large part of your business to be dictated by forces that you cannot control.

But is their model really that bad? Or is Delta just another victim of past success. This is a capitalist expand-or-perish society we live in, isn’t it? So Delta’s once tiny fleet had to go farther, fly more, and price lower, right? Different planes, different mechanics, different pilots–more money. And just by being around all these years, the company put itself at risk to supporting retirees some day, didn’t it? (Another reason why government-sponsored healthcare would be the best way to bail out our troubled businesses while passing on benefits to ordinary Americans at the same time, but I digress.)

Back to bags. I want to make it clear that I have no problem paying for the real cost of something. If the airline industry got together as a whole a while before fuel spiked and told us that a bag charge was necessary, I would have supported that. Bags are heavy, after all, and planes have weight restrictions. Charging by weight or by the number of bags is a great way to have consumers pay the real cost of the service that Delta is providing. But tacking these charges on as a way to deflect irresponsible energy consumption is like a cabby charging me a few extra bucks because he drove me downtown in a Tahoe.

Another example of not paying the real cost can be seen on most streets in the nation. I’m talking about parking meters. Even in areas where the charges are considered high the amount motorists pay is nowhere near the actual cost of maintaining that spot in the city. The rest of the cost comes out of tax revenue, so in a city like New York, where many don’t drive, the few are subsidized by the many, and no one has a say in the matter. This happens in other cities that have more drivers. The gulf is not as wide, but it is still distinct. The difference between cheap parking and, say, a homeless shelter–where the few are also subsidized by the many–is that car ownership is a lifestyle choice, poverty is not (Though I can think of more than a few Republican pundits who would like to convince you otherwise).

You can extend the “real cost of” thing further. We’re big fans of hiding the true costs of things in developed society. And if you factor in the environmental costs [read: unrecoupable losses], then we’re actually talking about most of industry. Sure, JetBlue had a more profitable business than Delta, same with Toyota vs GM, same with Wal-Mart vs Sears, but these companies, and many more with them, are all pushing us into the red when it comes to the environment. The problem is when it comes to global warming, there is no negotiation, no bankruptcy protection, no write-downs or divestments. And there is definitely no bailout in sight.

Doo-dah, Doo-dah!

But seriously, the meal is already two-thirds of the daily caloric intake recommended by our fine and competent government. Is it truly necessary to keep calling attention to food like this?

I was just writing (for another project) about the difference between organic food and, well, non-organic food and I realized that the whole organic food industry has been taking the high road when marketing their products.

Now, This may be intentional (and it most-likely is) but just once I’d like to see a big yellow star on an organic product with happy text saying, “Includes No Known Carcinogens!!” or “Made With 18 Fewer Toxic Compounds Than The Competition!!”

Sure the idea might need to be tweaked a little, but if Fruit Rollups boxes imply that they are fun, organic milk cartons should imply that BGH and cows shot up with antibiotics are inherently dangerous to human health.

We should each play to our strengths…

So far, in the month of December, 55 people have accessed my site via google searches using phrases (more than one word).  Now that I think of it, I posted on my ability to track these occurrences in this post a while back.  Anyway, of these 55 searches, 20 of them were eggnog-related; everything from coupon requests, to annual consumption information, to whether it’s safe to use eggnog past the expiration date (No!!).

And though my site does not appear within the first 15 pages when I google ‘eggnog’ by itself, I surmise that my habit of bandying about eggnog in casual conversation seems to have an affect those who search for eggnog and include any other word.  I think that if I can surround the word eggnog with enough prepositions or holiday-themed words such as wire-frame deer or public drunkeness, that I can corner the market on this one.  Christmas 2009, look for me to break into the top 15!

Someday, I’m going to bike the entire Brooklyn Bridge on the walk side and act really surprised and confused when people tell me that I shouldn’t be there.

While procrastinating the inevitable completion of the last in a long line of keynote presentations this semester, I happened upon this gem amongst my ‘Rapid Bus’ google results.  From Alan Hoffman, a San Diego transportation consultant.  (Read the whole article here.)

“It’s what I call the ‘AYF Factor.’ Attractive young females are the
canary in the coal mine of public transit. They’re sensitive to safety,
and they want to be in a nice spot. If you draw them in, you are
reaching a broad market. A whole lot of transit systems, when you look
around, you notice certain populations are missing.”

In lieu of a doomsday budget, perhaps the MTA should adopt a new slogan…  The MTA: Where Every Night is Ladies Night.

But seriously, being a young man with a healthy social life (oh so many years ago) I always found it odd that there’d be so many pretty ladies in the bar, and tons more flouncing around the streets, but once I got to the 3 am R train platform it was a sausage party clear on to Brooklyn.  (Later I learned that cabs are pretty much standard for a pretty young thing at that hour.)  Looks like the AYF Factor may have some legs.  Long, silky smooth legs…

It had to happen sometime and it finally has…  The U.N. is going green.  Sort of.  According to the New York Times, the glass curtain of the famous East River Headquarters will be redone with new super-insulated glass and windows that are designed not to open, which, combined with other improvements in the heating and cooling systems of the building will make it 44% more energy efficient.  Quite an improvement!  Of course, the price tag, which is approaching the 2 billion mark for the whole kit and kaboodle, may be seen by detractors (or members of the coal and oil lobbies) as yet another financial argument against the current rash of green buildings going up all over the world.  Especially with the current global meltdown in full swing, the question must be asked (again, probably by the coal and oil lobbies), is this green renovation really worth all the cost?

The short answer is ‘Yes,’ for the simple reason that even though the economic factors are very real to many people, they’re still just made up.  Yes, the whole world works with currency, but when you really think about it, isn’t currency just a value that has been assigned to something that is completely worthless. (Can we breathe or eat gold?)  A building that uses less energy (no matter the cost of production) saves resources with actual long-term value–namely the ability of our atmosphere to provide us with a climate we can live in and air we can breathe (notice I didn’t say oil or coal, which are just as valuable as gold or gravel when you think about it).

And while I’m on the subject of using less energy, let me give you my long answer.  Yes, we’re spending huge amounts of money to make a single building more energy efficient, but what if I told you that there was a completely free way to have made the building much more efficient when it was first built–but that was ultimately not adopted.

It’s true.  The 38 story U.N. Secretariat Building, with it’s striking presence along the East River is a sliver of a structure with its two broad glass sides facing East-West.  This means that every morning, the AC has to kick into overdrive to keep the East Side cool in the face of the rising sun, and then every afternoon, the same has to happen on the West side as the sun sets.  This condition is compouned by the fact that the Secretariat Building is at least seven times as wide as it is deep (if the width is North/South and the depth is East/West).  With a simple 90 degree change in orientation, the two expansive sides could have been shielded from the sun, thus saving untold amounts of money in cooling costs.

Of course, the building was built to be an architectural statement in the heady years just after World War II, where we’d won an entire war mostly on the strength of our technology (not knocking American servicemen, but if you took a combat pilot out of his P-51 and put him in a biplane he wouldn’t be nearly as effective).  Also, at that time fuel and power seemed endless, the concept of pollution was not what it is now, and thus, energy consumption was not high on anyone’s list.

But it sure is now…  Taking advantage of passive design techniques (like building orientation or the lay of the land) represents the cheapest (but least flashy) way we can save energy, and thus our way of life as we know it.  The Secretariat Building is a permanent reminder of our pesky tendacy to try to dominate nature, not to embrace it.

It’s been about ten minutes since I finished listening to AC/DC’s new album, Black Ice, and even though I’ve got a mountain of reading and writing ahead of me, I just had to say a few words about my favorite band (in the Southern Hemisphere).

With the whirlwind first cut, Rock N’ Roll Train, the band’s homage to public transit, the band proves that in our quest for alternative energy we forgot one source, the raw, unending, bone-shaking power of rock n’ roll.  As we’ve learned from previous albums, rock n’ roll ain’t noise pollution, rock n’ roll will never die, which makes it an excellent companion for solar and wind.  Just put these guys in the boiler room of the Empire State Building and they’ll have the whole place humming before you can say “Highway to Hell.”

The rest of the album unfolds as a delightful confabulation of driving rock anthems, riffed-up power chants, and double entendres; par for the course for any AC/DC album.  These are all fine and good, but the real test, the test that makes it or breaks it, requires a more refined appreciation for the music.  Namely, “Can I kick someone’s ass to this song?”

Well, my friend, why don’t you put on track 7, Spoilin’ For a Fight, and we’ll see what happens…

The “special” at my local pizzeria went from $5.00 to $5.50 today.  I asked the guy behind the counter why the price went up.

“Ethanol,” he said, and shrugged his shoulders.

Which got me to thinking.  Lately, I’ve been pretty much immune to things like rising gas prices and fare hikes.  In fact, the last time I remember buying gasoline consistently it was under $2.00 a gallon (eek!).  So you can only imagine how miffed I was when I learned that because the global demand for corn went through the roof that I had to pay 10% more for my slices.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind paying a little extra for something that is helping us all out in the long run (like organic food or phosphate-free detergent), hasn’t this little ethanol charade gotten a little old?

I see that I may have gotten a little ahead of myself, so like the intrepid explorers that we all are at heart, let’s follow this little scenario downstream and see if we find anything lurking.

My pizza costs went up because the cost of milk went up.  The cost of milk went up because the corn that the cows are fed is now more expensive due to increased demand.  More demand means more corn to keep pace with the demand (cause we can’t have cows or ethanol, we’ve gotta have both).  More corn means more fertilizer.  Most of the fertilizer consumed by agri-business is made using the Haber-Bosch process to produce ammonia.  And what fuels the Haber-Bosch process?

Natural Gas.

You can see where I’m going with this.  Ethanol is not fixing the problem, it’s just tucking it under the rug so the common consumer can’t see it anymore.  Ride around in all the green cars you like, it still won’t make a lick of difference.

If we really want to fix the problem we have to change our land use, not our car use.

(Or:  We, as a country, could do away with the flush toilet and pool our collective resources to create the world’s largest humanure industry, eliminating both the water deficit and the fertilizer problem in one fell swoop.  Who’s with me?!)

Took me forever to get around to posting this, but I used the built in camera in the monitor plus a program called Gawker that takes still captures at predetermined intervals (every 5 seconds for this) to make this video of me striping and then rebuilding my new fixie. The explosion sound at the end is when I popped my inner tube while inflating it. Damn thing sounded like a gunshot when it actually happened.

I’ve had the bike working for about three weeks now and aside from the weekly trips to the bike shop to buy parts that I should have replaced when I first put it together (axle, ball bearings, etc.) it’s been working like a charm. Now I just have to find some time to learn how to ride it properly…