America’s Most Wanted: Green Edition

Okay, apparently, the EPA now has its own ‘most wanted list’ now, full of baddies who dump, dupe, or spray illegally.  First of all, I want to say how happy I am that eco-villans are no longer just the stuff of James Bond or Captain Planet.  In the grand scheme of things, it’s much more worthwhile to make sure that our farm fields are not tainted or our atmosphere is protected for future generations than it is to catch bank robbers or murders (not making light of murder, but when it comes to the long term survival of our species, a bad atmosphere will be significantly more detrimental than a high murder rate).

But back to the Ten Most Wanted: Green Edition.  If you check out the list now it’s full of, well, criminals, because we’re applying our present social laws and values to populate the list.  Namely, if you dump diesel fuel into the ocean, there’s a law somewhere that says you can’t do that.  So Mr. John Karayannides, who dumped 487 tons of wheat tainted with diesel fuel is a criminal because what he did was illegal, case closed.

It’s interesting to think what this list might look like in 2108.  Picture a greatest hits list of eco-villans running back for the hundred years that the list was in existence.  Who would be on that list?  Remember, the decision makers would probably be using an enlightened 2108 criteria, shaped by lessons learned and scientific insight from the past 100 years.  It’s safe to say that a heck of a lot more would be illegal to do in 2108, than in 2008.  This is not an assumption, this is fact.  If we keep our current practices unchanged, we won’t have a civilization left to wax philosophically about green law in 2108.  So, using the enhanced futuristic criteria, who would be on that list?  Monsanto?  George W. Bush?  The Auto Industry?  Jack Welch?

Jack, and his doomsday device of choice, General Electric, are an excellent example of those hoity-toity treehugger values I’m talking about.  GE (before Jack) dumped tons and tons of toxic pollutants into the Hudson River when it was all good and legal.  But when CERCLA and the Superfund was created in the 80s, not only did it became illegal to do stuff like that, now GE was liable for the clean-up.  Jack and GE fought their mandated clean-up for years and years, delaying the inevitable and leaving millions of people exposed to the conditions that GE had caused. 

Getting back on track, aside from a few people who, apparently would like the tax payers to clean up the toxic mistakes of corporate America, most people I’ve talked to are pretty happy with GE’s fate concerning the Hudson.  Now, this isn’t some ivory tower living, capuccino drinking, soft-handed pinko-leftist society that thouht up CERCLA.  CERCLA was signed into law by Reagan, the most wonderous president ever (provided you’re not poor, a minority, or a breather of air).  So if the social values of the single most admired conservative politician in 50 years were enough to recognise that what GE and hundreds of other companies did was wrong, what do you think will happen in 100 years?

So, yeah, lets make that list, and check it twice.  But we shouldn’t let a little thing like ‘legality’ determine who we think is naughty or nice.