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Brian: You know that doesn’t really do anything when you shout like that.

Me: I know, it’s mostly for myself.

Brian: Fair enough…

You never know what will happen in Chili’s. So I’m in Reston, VA for the week, attending a training for my job. Cause I could get a shuttle from the airport to my hotel, I was able to go without a rental car for the trip (good for the environment), though because of that, I’m limited to the immediate area for food options, hence, Chili’s.

Was sitting at the bar tonight and Lou Dobbs was on the television directly in front of me (closed captions and everything). I’ve never seen Lou’s show, but there is one thing I know about him: He loves illegal immigration. Loves it. Loves it!!

And I’m not talking about the healthy kind of love either. This is the desperate career-prolonging kind of letchery that you’d normally reserve for Hannity interviewing Newt Gingrich.

So Lou is babbling on about some debacle or another, but all I’m waiting for is the immigration talk to start up. I mean, this is like the time I saw Skynyrd and they played every song in the book, and then we clapped, and clapped, and clapped, and screamed, and yelled, and they finally came out and played Freebird. And just when I think that Lou isn’t gonna go there, he goes right for the jugular! He’s using words like “crisis,” and “threat,” and my personal favorite “travesty” like they’re going out of style! Seriously, it’s like watching Freebird all over again!

“There is a special place in hell reserved for the guy that invented the machine that only takes bills, but only dispenses dollar coins as change.”

Said the guy with 15 dollar coins jangling around in his pocket after buying a five dollar book of stamps…