I AM a Car.

I don’t think the white-haired man who runs the parking garage at my job likes me. (He’s the same man as the office man from this post.) I arrived at the garage this morning like I do every morning, flashed the gate man my ID badge, and proceeded to walk my bike down to the storage rack in the customary fashion (Mandated by said white-haired man after he saw me riding my bike in the garage my first day there [gasp]). It’s only about fifty feet from the gate to the rack and most of the walk takes place in a place wide enough for two cars to pass each other.

“Hey!” Somebody shouted.

I looked up, it was the white-haired man, and he was heying at me.

“Watch out for that car,” he said to me.

I turned around. There was a large Suburban idling behind me. It had come in via the other entrance (after me) and I was in the midst of crossing its path on my way to the storage rack.

“Don’t worry, I see it,” I replied, knowing that in a matter of seconds I would be headed in the opposite direction as it was, thus allowing it to continue on unobstructed.

“You should watch out for cars,” said the white-haired man. And here’s where the written word doesn’t convey the proper meaning at first, because what he said, and the tone in which he said it, suggested several other statements: Watch out for cars you irresponsible slacker. You should let cars go in front of you because all roads were made exclusively for them, kid. Cyclists should be seen, not heard, you stupid pedestrian.

“I am a car,” I responded, with a tone suggesting: I have as much a right to this road as any car, fuckface.

Somehow, I think my confrontation-prone demeanor combined with my tendency to instigate are going to lead to a few more problems with this guy in the coming months. I may end up parking on the street for a while, but if I can get HR involved and mention “discrimination” in any way, I’ve got a chance of winning this.

I’ve had a hair-trigger for crap like this all my life. I think its because I know that most people won’t react at all, and therefore nothing will ever happen to even address the problem, no matter what the problem happens to be. When I was in high school some stupid jock called me “gay” and I got him suspended for a week with a mandatory tolerance workshop just because I could. My motive wasn’t spite though, I did it because I knew that there was rampant homophobia among the student population and that the school was ignoring the problem. Walking down to the office and putting it on paper would force them to acknowledge the problem, and to act.

Not that holding up homophobia to some old guy who is irritated by bicycles is an apples to apples comparison. I’m not going to be joining any picket lines, or demanding sweeping policy changes. Hell, I just want to be taken seriously, that’s all.